Humor

When Dishwashers were New

May 15, 2009 By NightOwl

Ahhh… those were the days. Or were they? Dishwasher Aids Housewife?!? We’re all glad to have dishwashers these days. In fact, until the recent economic downturn, a dishwasher was considered a necessity in most households, not a luxury. Here’s the text from this 1937 piece of appliance and societal history:

AN ELECTRIC dishwashing machine which uses six quarts of water, cleans all the dishes in the machine in eight minutes. Taking up but little room in kitchen, the mechanism is simple enough to be operated by a child. The dishes are placed in a basket which in turn is placed in the machine. The basket is self-locking, and stationary during the washing operation, thus eliminating all chance of dish breakage. An agitator with four blades revolves around the perforated basket, forcing the water upward between and over the dishes. The water strikes the dishes at all angles, doing a thorough and sanitary job.

The basic mechanics haven’t seemed to have changed much, but note that the basket is loaded and then placed in the machine. That is one heavy load. An eight minute cycle – how much pre-washing was necessary? I’m also wondering just how loud it was? Still, it was a start.

Retrospective: Appliance Advertising From the Fifties

May 9, 2009 By NightOwl

Some of you might remember these; for everyone else, yes, this is how the fridge and stove really looked.

My childhood best friend had the whole matched set – in pink!- I was so envious.

Did anyone sit down to breakfast dressed like this? And where are the kids?

Is the jam part of this toaster? Nooo… It came as a set with small dishes for butter and jam and a plate for the toast.

Dishwasher Repairs – Joke-of-the-Day

April 20, 2009 By NightOwl

Jill’s dishwasher quit working so she called in a repairman.

Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman,

‘I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on
the work top, and I’ll send you a cheque. Oh, by the way don’t worry about my dog
Spike. He won’t bother you.

But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to
my parrot!

I MUST STRESS TO YOU: DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!

When the repairman arrived at the apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking dog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.

The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn’t contain himself any longer and yelled,

‘Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!’

To which the parrot replied, ‘Get him,Spike!’

See – Men just don’t listen.*

Bissell’s Pet Photo Contest 2009

February 11, 2009 By NightOwl

Do you have the cutest pet in the world? Come on, you know you think so. Or maybe not. Maybe you know that the zany uniqueness of your family pet is what stands out. Either way, Bissell, the carpet cleaner specialist is offering you a chance to show your pet to the world.

One winner will be selected each week, with a grand prize winner being chosen to receive one of the following Bissell products: Pet Hair Eraser, SpotBot Pet, Lift Off, Revolution Pet, Pro Heat 2X Revolution Pet. Plus a $10,000 Donation to the Pet Cause of winner’s choice. Additionally, your pet’s photo will be placed on a future Bissell package.

To read all the details and submit your pet’s photo you can click here. Come back and let us know if you win!

A Blonde Walked into an Appliance Store…

January 23, 2009 By NightOwl

A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain.

“I would like to buy this TV,” she told the salesman.

“Sorry we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied.

She hurried home, dyed her hair, came back again and told the salesman, “I would like to buy this TV.”

“Sorry we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied.

“Darn, he recognized me,” she thought.

She went for a complete disguise this time. A new haircut and new color, a new outfit, and big sunglasses. Then she waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. “I would like to buy this TV,” she told the salesman.

“Sorry we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied.

Frustrated, she exclaimed, “How do you know I’m a blonde?”

“Because that’s a microwave,” he replied.

You can read more jokes at askmen.com

Dirty Grills Gone Wild

December 12, 2008 By NightOwl

Get ready for summer now:
Dacor is launching a contest to find the dirtiest grill in America. Its owner will receive a new Dacor Epicure 36-inch Outdoor Grill and Grill Cart and a year’s supply of Scott Shop Towels.

The contest is being promoted at barbeque competitions and football tailgate parties across the country, and will end the week after the Super Bowl. Organizers will also be shooting footage of grimy grills for a “Dirty Grills Gone Wild” video that will be posted on the contest web site as well as on other Internet sites.

Entries will be reviewed by a panel of judges, which includes Joey Mac’s Smoke Stax, the grilling team of Joe (Joey Mac) McManus and Wayne Styck.

To enter, contestants must submit a digital photo of their dirty grill by Feb. 2, 2009 at www.dirtydirtygrills.com.

Here’s a fun story straight from the Wall Street Journal:

Marriage counselors say one of the biggest issues that couples fight over is money. But many of us know what’s really the most contentious battleground in the home: the dishwasher.

Except for the family dog, perhaps nothing in the house is louder or wetter, breaks more things, or causes more fights than the dishwasher. It’s just an appliance, but in many families the dishwasher becomes a stainless-steel-and-ceramic metaphor for marital power. Who loads it, how it gets loaded, how often should it be run, and when did it last get emptied – all these questions are like a fuse on a pack of TNT. One spark and there’s a conflagration.

I, of course, know that my method of loading the machine is best: Don’t rinse first, which wastes precious water and time. And silverware goes in tines and blades DOWN, thank you, so you don’t skewer yourself unloading later.

But others disagree. Tines UP, please, and always prewash.

A straw poll around the office reveals that many couples staunchly stick to the method they learned growing up. That means visiting family members who want to “help” in the kitchen can compound the problem. Woe to the well-meaning in-law who puts pot lids on the top instead of the bottom. Or worse, moves things around. Marriages have broken up over less.

One colleague says he always runs the machine immediately once it’s loaded, so no one goes in to rearrange. Another says he divides people into two categories: loaders and emptiers. He’s an emptier.

Dishwasher manufacturer Whirlpool offers some advice on its Web site: “It is not necessary to rinse the dishes before putting them into the dishwasher. The wash module removes food particles from the water.” And for silverware: “Mix items in each section of the basket with some pointing up and some down to avoid nesting. … Always load sharp items (knives, skewers, etc.) pointing down.”

But that’s not likely to end the dishwasher wars. Apologies to those of you who wash by hand (maybe you’re happier people!) but readers, do you find you fight over the dishwasher? And if so, how do you reach détente?